There is one senator here in Wisconsin named Glenn Grothman who is proposing a bill that states that .
OK, Glenn...You sure look like someone that understands what being a single parent is. You sure know what a single parent goes through to provide for their child. Yet, somehow we do it. This proposal of yours talks about the welfare that single parents are on. What welfare? I am on NO state assistance. I make too much. None.
You need to know something, Glenn Grothman, I am a single mom because I CHOSE to be. I know, shocking. I chose my son. I adopted him out of the foster care system. Lots of single parents do this each and every day, and take children that WERE abused and neglected out of that situation.
The same goes for gay parents, who were also names in your little proposal as a "family values" issue. Well, these people that are lacking such values have taken in children and a lot have adopted them. These are children that would not have had somewhere to go. There are not enough "marital" homes for them!
How about instead of focusing on single parents who are busy working their behinds off to support their children you focus on getting people the services and education they need to PREVENT unwanted pregnancies so that they do not feel that they need an abortion, do not abuse their children, or neglect them. If they could prevent an unwanted pregnancy that would take care of this issue.
Get off your high horse.
"No Jeff, I love Senator Kohl." - I'm happy that is the case. That's why we have a government in place. "but he needs to mind his business when it comes to raising a child...especially when he has not raised one." - But then you are wrong for the reason you give. You just think you disagree with him, even though it's clear from statements he's made he's not referring to you or your situation.
This is a far cry from a single professional woman who chooses motherhood via adoption or other means in the absence of a current stable relationship. Single women (and men) can raise children just fine if they do it with their eyes open. So please let's not call Melissa selfish or neglectful. She's quite the opposite.
I never called Melissa selfish or neglectful. To the contrary I said "I applaud your decision to foster and then adopt."
I think her umbrage is misplaced & she should have looked like I did to be sure that what she was claiming was true. I think trying to add one sentence to give direction to the state board while not making it so precise and not allowing them room for some discretion was the right approach, but probably needed more clarification, which he then provided for anyone willing to look for it.
Senator Grothman refuses to acknowledge that the single largest contributing variable to child abuse and neglect is poverty. In correlation studies, poverty far outweighs all other contributing variables. He could not get the advisory board to go along with this proposal and now he is using his position in the state senate to pull an end run around the board. Finally, the discussion of "bastard", "illegitimate" is moot. These terms are archaic and have no longer any legal standing. Single parenthood occurs for a number of reasons. It is not illegal for consenting adults to engage in "out of wedlock" sexual relations. Secular values and morality no longer support social sanctions for people to participate in legal adult behavior and as such, children born of wedlock or non wedlock couplings hold the exact same status. Children don't have a choice about their parent's marital status. The vast number of single mothers are white and find themselves in the circumstance due to divorce. Senator Grothman refuses to accept reality and wants to focus on his own biased views.
The factors that lead to abuse are: Single parenting-Well, do something about the dads and moms not stepping up to their responsibility as parents and leaving one parent to do all of the parenting. Don't punish the one left doing all of it! I do not know any single parents that CHOSE to do this on their own besides myself or other adoptive parents. Even my son's birth mom...she was 13 when she got pregnant. I highly doubt she CHOSE to get pregnant. Unemployed-Do something about this. This IS his job. Not telling parents how to parent when he is not even a parent himself! Poor-Get education and job skills to the people to help them get jobs! Get prevention methods and education out to the people to help prevent unwanted pregnancies and if people are abusing the system by having multiple children on their own then cut off their food stamps, etc. That will stop it. You do not link one entire group of people together. In that case...we are going back in time. Statistic show that crime is higher in the African American community and at night, so should we go back to curfew for African Americans? No...I don't think so! It does not hurt my "feelings" (Really?!?!). This man just needs to wake up. I get he is trying to help but this is NOT the way
Perhaps you are offended that you happen to be a single parent, but if bringing this issue to light can help protect children of single parents who actually are in abusive situations, then perhaps Grothman isn't wrong to bring it up.
The way it looks to me, Grothman has his facts right, but nobody else wants to be the one that gets accused of 'demonizing' single parents by acknowledging those facts...
Should I be getting married just to not raise this child alone? hmmm....I dont think that would be good for me or my son. Prevent unwanted pregnancies through education, the ability to get into services to help them prevent the pregnancies, etc. It is a lot cheaper than the money we throw at the issue with childcare assistance, food stamps, WIC, etc....this bill....
I don't think that it is at all 'mandatory' to have two parents to raise boys through their teen years. I'll agree with you that having two good parents is better than one, but there's no reason to think that a single parent is incapable of raising his/her children to adulthood without a partner.
Let me share some data from Milwaukee County. The State Agency that oversees child welfare in the county is the Milwaukee Bureau of Child Welfare. They average 50,000 referrals per year of which approximately 10,000 are investigated. Of the 10,000 only 2,500 are substantiated for abuse or neglect. The Bureau attempts to keep families intact and works with the affected families. They only detain children in the worst of the cases and the children are placed into the foster care system. Families that are unable to be saved, the courts Terminate Parental Rights and the children are then available for adoption. In this state the investigation, foster care and adoption system is terribly underfunded. For many children who find themselves placed available for adoption, they are children of color and there isn't enough families of color available to adopt. Therefore, a sizable portion of the adopted children are transracial adoptions. Grothman is clearly not understanding the issues and has latched onto what he sees as a simple solution. We have enough problems with unwarranted criticism and discrimination, without him witch hunting.
From the study, it seems that children with 'low' socioeconomic status were almost 6 times more likely to be abused than children in 'non-low' socioeconomic status (55.1 per 1000 compared to 9.5 per 1000). When comparing abuse by living arrangement/family structure, children with a 'single parent with partner' were abused at a rate of 57.2 per 1000, while children with married biological parents were at 6.8 per 1000. That works out to a little over 8 times as likely to be abused. If one looks at sexual abuse, the numbers are even worse. 9.9 out of 1000 compared to 0.5 out of 1000. That's about a 20 fold difference. It is interesting to note that the rates of abuse under 'single parent with no partner' were much lower than 'single parent with partner'. It seems to me that there's more than just poverty contributing to the rates of abuse...
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/abuse_neglect/natl_incid/reports/natl_incid/nis4_report_congress_full_pdf_jan2010.pdf