Personal Hygiene Is Important to This Pair of Thieves

If they hadn't gotten caught, police would be looking for a couple of guys with funky feet, itchy eyes and appetites for smooth lovin'.

What's a party without vodka, smokes, personal lubricants and anti-fungal foot cream?

Two Milwaukee men, one 21 and the other 23, were arrested Wednesday for retail theft after they grabbed cigarettes and liquor and ran out of one Walgreen’s store and later were collared by a officer in the parking lot of another.

By then, they had a fabulous collection of stolen property in their car, all of it appearing to belong rightfully to the Walgreen’s corporation – and most of it dedicated to hygenic or recreational body functions.

The two entered the just before 11:20 a.m. and tried to return two box fans, a clerk said. They didn’t have receipts, so they the return was denied.

One of the men then picked out three bottles of vodka and came to the counter as if to pay.

The clerk asked for ID, and said that as he was reaching for his wallet, the other man walked up, pushed a customer out of his way, reached across the counter, pulled open the glass half-door of the cigarette cabinet, and grabbed three cartons of Newports.

The first man grabbed his liquor and both ran out the door and drove off in a silver Saturn sedan with front-end damage.

Not long after, another officer arrested the two men in the parking lot of the . Upon searching the car, officers found not only the booze and smokes taken from the Wauwatosa Avenue location but also a load of other Walgreen’s merchandise that brought the total retail value of stolen property in their possession to more than $750.

Among the items in their hoard: Dr. Scholl’s massage gel shoe inserts (men’s and women’s); Walgreen’s brand gel shoe inserts (women’s); KY brand “Yours and Mine Lube” (either men’s or women’s, we infer); bottles of brand name and store label anti-fungal foot cream, spray and liquid; nail gel; more shoe inserts; itchy eye relief drops; more kinds of anti-fungal cream, liquid and solution; Wet brand Platinum Body Glide personal lubricant; lubricant eye drops; Ocusoft liquid scrub and cleaner pads; and Claritin liquid gels.

All the property was returned to Walgreen’s.


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